Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Taking your kid to the doctor VS Taking your dog to the vet




I got that cute post card today from the Vet (time for your dooooogone shots)....Reminding me to bring Jack in for his shots. It's funny, I have 3 dogs and it's tough to keep track of who needs shots. Actually, I also have 3 kids. I don't think I have ever received a note from a clinic reminding me that any of my human children were due for shots. So I pondered the differences between going to the vet and going to the family doctor.


Vet Clinic: Sure, we can get Jack in today for his Rabies shot.


Human Clinic: I am sorry, Gadget Boy can't get a Meningitis Vaccine...He hasn't been here for a year...so he will have to be seen by the doctor...how's a week from Friday? No..Misha...I am sorry he can't just go to public health to get the shot. You have health insurance so you will have to come here. If you were just a little more irresponsible as a parent you could avoid this.



Vet Clinic after hours: This sounds urgent, the on-call vet will meet you at the clinic.


Human Clinic after hours: Yes, this is your clinic but since it is 4:30 we are now doing urgent care. This means nobody has access to your chart and don't ask us to follow the regular protocol for your chronically sick child because we won't believe you.



Vet Clinic Greeting: Smiling receptionist gushes over your dog/cat/rat/lizard who she seems to know by name. She offers a treat and forgives all urinary indiscretions which may occur.


Human Clinic Greeting: Frosted sliding glass window cracks open and sneering receptionist peers out--then shuts it again to gossip about you.



Vet Clinic Decor: Cuddling puppies, kittens, paw prints, educational materials.

Human Clinic Decor: Sign...Sign.. Everywhere a sign. "YOU MUST PAY YOUR CO-PAY OR WE WILL BREAK YOUR KNEES" "WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SENDING YOUR LABWORK TO THE WRONG LAB" "NO FOOD OR DRINK" "TELL US IF YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR AN HOUR" (Because we sure as heck won't notice)


Vet Clinic Diagnoses ear Infection: Vet flushes out ear and puts in drops causing immediate relief. Accepts Jacks doggy kisses of appreciation.

Human Clinic Diagnoses ear infection: Looks like your eardrum has burst Angry-T. Have you considered wearing earplugs to the pool?????? (picture the priceless look on Angry-T's face at the thought of showing up at the pool with earplugs)



Vet Clinic Medication: Here are Jack's medications. They are meat flavored. Give us a call when you need more.

Human Clinic Medication: This medication tastes like battery acid but since Angry T only weighs 79 pounds he will have to take the liquid. It may cause him to overheat, become psychotic and have explosive diarrhea. You will have to drive across town and wait in a long line of geriatric patients with LOTS of questions to pick it up. By the way, it is on the highest tier of your medical plan. Good Luck with That!


Tune in next time: Human Hairdresser VS Dog Groomer

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL Misha, your hit that nail right on the head. Its to bad it is that way. We need to go on a scooter ride. It sounds like you need. Let me know when you want to go. I could use a little scooter therapy myself.

chili pepper

Misha said...

Let's scooter tonight!!

OHN said...

You are dead on in this exchange!! I wish I could be a patient at my vets office.

flamingo farmacist said...

misha, you should be writing to medical journals!!! awesome comparison!! you and Angry-T could have your own act! can't wait for 'next time' with the hairdresser:D

fun scootering tonite!! looking foward to tomorrow...

glad to see you back OHN...Lurker and Faith....where art thou??

ff

flamingo farmacist said...

alright, misha and chili pepper.... i did it. i filled out the adoption application for Little Bit and inquired about Tucker. I put you both down as references...so when does the fence go up??

fun ride again tonite!! a little chilly, tho!

ff

Misha said...

hoo-ray. Didja see Jack made it to the sioux city journal today! He is such a star! Yes--fence shopping asap. You need to check out LIPTON, too.

SeaSpray said...

Great post Misha -I enjoyed it!

One drawback to vets though...no health insurance.

We just brought Bob (our German shepherd)there a couple of weeks ago and i was discussing funny stories with the receptionist. She said that someone called to have their dog get a BORDELLO shot and someone else called to schedule their pet a for a DISTEMPERAMENT shot because they thought it would make their pet NICER!! LOL!

Anonymous said...

I am a hospice fellow and we just spent $4000 on a six day ICU stay for our CRF cat. The vet medical center was unfailingly awesome through and through. Even when we asked to bring her home for hospice care.

sara said...

Our vet gave us medicine with "a pleasant butterscotch flavor."

Our ped gave us augmentin. Which makes earwax taste like M&Ms.

And our vet? Makes house calls. For not much more than my co-pay on the insurance.

I wonder if I glue hair to the kid, would the vet see him?

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