
I got that cute post card today from the Vet (time for your dooooogone shots)....Reminding me to bring Jack in for his shots. It's funny, I have 3 dogs and it's tough to keep track of who needs shots. Actually, I also have 3 kids. I don't think I have ever received a note from a clinic reminding me that any of my human children were due for shots. So I pondered the differences between going to the vet and going to the family doctor.
Vet Clinic: Sure, we can get Jack in today for his Rabies shot.
Human Clinic: I am sorry, Gadget Boy can't get a Meningitis Vaccine...He hasn't been here for a year...so he will have to be seen by the doctor...how's a week from Friday? No..Misha...I am sorry he can't just go to public health to get the shot. You have health insurance so you will have to come here. If you were just a little more irresponsible as a parent you could avoid this.
Vet Clinic after hours: This sounds urgent, the on-call vet will meet you at the clinic.
Human Clinic after hours: Yes, this is your clinic but since it is 4:30 we are now doing urgent care. This means nobody has access to your chart and don't ask us to follow the regular protocol for your chronically sick child because we won't believe you.
Vet Clinic Greeting: Smiling receptionist gushes over your dog/cat/rat/lizard who she seems to know by name. She offers a treat and forgives all urinary indiscretions which may occur.
Human Clinic Greeting: Frosted sliding glass window cracks open and sneering receptionist peers out--then shuts it again to gossip about you.
Vet Clinic Decor: Cuddling puppies, kittens, paw prints, educational materials.
Human Clinic Decor: Sign...Sign.. Everywhere a sign. "YOU MUST PAY YOUR CO-PAY OR WE WILL BREAK YOUR KNEES" "WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SENDING YOUR LABWORK TO THE WRONG LAB" "NO FOOD OR DRINK" "TELL US IF YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR AN HOUR" (Because we sure as heck won't notice)
Vet Clinic Diagnoses ear Infection: Vet flushes out ear and puts in drops causing immediate relief. Accepts Jacks doggy kisses of appreciation.
Human Clinic Diagnoses ear infection: Looks like your eardrum has burst Angry-T. Have you considered wearing earplugs to the pool?????? (picture the priceless look on Angry-T's face at the thought of showing up at the pool with earplugs)
Vet Clinic Medication: Here are Jack's medications. They are meat flavored. Give us a call when you need more.
Human Clinic Medication: This medication tastes like battery acid but since Angry T only weighs 79 pounds he will have to take the liquid. It may cause him to overheat, become psychotic and have explosive diarrhea. You will have to drive across town and wait in a long line of geriatric patients with LOTS of questions to pick it up. By the way, it is on the highest tier of your medical plan. Good Luck with That!
Tune in next time: Human Hairdresser VS Dog Groomer