Eating Disorder

Last night the boys decided to enjoy a late night snack. Earlier in the week I purchased a new tankard of fake butter. It was mysterically hijacked, opened and licked clean in the night. Girl-with-Phone may have left this tasty treat on the counter. I am torn whether my dogs or my kids need obedience training. Anyway, I think this may be a serious eating disorder. And..it was almost even worse! They also got a huge container of Gatorade mix and opened it! Thankfully the inside tin had not yet been opened, so they didn't get any of that! I have asked my peeps for some suggestions to curb this crazy eating behavior and here is what I have so far: Please send more suggestions. Jack will never be crowned the Iams poster beagle at this rate:

Suggestion: Misha, why don't you take the dogs to the dog park every day?

Response: Good Suggestion. However since it has RAINED for 10 days in a row, the prospect of getting outside is somewhat hopeless. And of couse winter is coming...but we will try.

Suggestion: Misha, why don't you give the dogs some rawhide to keep them occupied?

Response: Marvelous Idea.....however Jack does not handle rawhide well. In fact, he ( a normally happy, easy-going dog) will fight to the death over rawhide or long lasting bones of any kind. He feels obligated to first bury his treat and then methodically steal everyone elses. One time Flamingo Farmacist saw his hiding place under the stairs and he moved the whole collection to a new spot. (sorry FF he told me not to tell you where the new location is) I thought about trying hooves (although I think they are really disgusting) to see if they might be a better treat.

Suggestion: Why can't you just get your children put away their food items?

Response: I have no idea.

Suggestion: Why can't you lock the cabinets?

Response: If they had to lock and unlock cabinets...nothing would ever be put away!

Send more suggestions and have a great weekend.

Hawkeye Pride

Jack is wearing the black and gold very proudly this week. I wanted to post last week about Jack's latest weigh-in...but it is NOT good news. I think I am going to forget the scale and measure his girth instead! Either the previous 44.5 pound weight check was OFF or he is putting on muscle. He weighs about 46 pounds right now. He has been exercising pretty regularly, looks healthier, looks thinner and acts much friskier. Hopefully he has not hit a plateau. Like the Hawkeyes....he can be the comeback beagle. PS--Jack..I DID notice the empty wheat thins box and hamburger bun bag in the back yard. TSK...TSK.
PS--Milo has lost some weight, too. He looks incredibly muscular these days. Yeah Dog Park.

If Jack Taught Nutrition 101

Beagle Intelligence...An oxymoron?

There are several interesting publications that look at the relative intelligence of various canine breeds and I have yet to see one where the beagle ranks high. One of the most famous experiments is one where a towel is placed over the dog's head and the human uses a stopwatch to see how long it takes for the dog to remove the towel. Apparently, Poodles and Border Collies are able to take off the towel in under 3 seconds. Beagles on the other hand tend to sit there motionless for a long time. I asked Jack about this and he argues that any dummy can take a towel off his head. He, on the other hand, takes the time to enjoy the unexpected shade and take in the smell of my new dryer sheets.

Now, I do have to admit that I have questioned Jack's intelligence on occasion. It is a little known family secret that when I would take Milo to the groomer....(see before photo)







...and bring him home later...(see after photo)








Jack thought I brought home a new dog. Beaglemoron??? You be the judge.

Happy Birthday (Saturday) to Girl with Phone and Angry T. (Yes, they were born on the same day 5 years apart)


Enjoy some pictures from the dog park:


Here is Oakley and LOG (his best friend)











Jack: "Yes, I believe we HAVE met......"










Jack after the dogpark: Zzzzzzzzzz

Say Cheese

Actually, I told the photographer specifically NOT to say CHEESE. It is a word that Jack knows. We would have had to cancel the session for sure. Aren't they cute, though? Dog-Lovers....you need a professional photo of your dog(s). Trust me. Call and book an appointment today.

Jack has had a good week. He has had several trips to the dog park. He went to Pets on Parade where he was FEATURED in the local newspaper and he got a snazzy new bandana (and coupons) from the Iams people. He is still hoping to become their poster beagle...but he probably still needs to lose a few pounds. Unfortunately, his new-found fame went to his head. He managed to steal a pack of hot dogs from the counter last night (Angry-T needs to be more careful). On another positive note...Just Jack was featured on Kevin MD's anniversary edition of notable medical blog entries AKA GRAND ROUNDS. I told him all about it and he is honored and humbled.

Taking your kid to the doctor VS Taking your dog to the vet

I got that cute post card today from the Vet (time for your dooooogone shots)....Reminding me to bring Jack in for his shots. It's funny, I have 3 dogs and it's tough to keep track of who needs shots. Actually, I also have 3 kids. I don't think I have ever received a note from a clinic reminding me that any of my human children were due for shots. So I pondered the differences between going to the vet and going to the family doctor.


Vet Clinic: Sure, we can get Jack in today for his Rabies shot.


Human Clinic: I am sorry, Gadget Boy can't get a Meningitis Vaccine...He hasn't been here for a year...so he will have to be seen by the doctor...how's a week from Friday? No..Misha...I am sorry he can't just go to public health to get the shot. You have health insurance so you will have to come here. If you were just a little more irresponsible as a parent you could avoid this.



Vet Clinic after hours: This sounds urgent, the on-call vet will meet you at the clinic.


Human Clinic after hours: Yes, this is your clinic but since it is 4:30 we are now doing urgent care. This means nobody has access to your chart and don't ask us to follow the regular protocol for your chronically sick child because we won't believe you.



Vet Clinic Greeting: Smiling receptionist gushes over your dog/cat/rat/lizard who she seems to know by name. She offers a treat and forgives all urinary indiscretions which may occur.


Human Clinic Greeting: Frosted sliding glass window cracks open and sneering receptionist peers out--then shuts it again to gossip about you.



Vet Clinic Decor: Cuddling puppies, kittens, paw prints, educational materials.

Human Clinic Decor: Sign...Sign.. Everywhere a sign. "YOU MUST PAY YOUR CO-PAY OR WE WILL BREAK YOUR KNEES" "WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SENDING YOUR LABWORK TO THE WRONG LAB" "NO FOOD OR DRINK" "TELL US IF YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR AN HOUR" (Because we sure as heck won't notice)


Vet Clinic Diagnoses ear Infection: Vet flushes out ear and puts in drops causing immediate relief. Accepts Jacks doggy kisses of appreciation.

Human Clinic Diagnoses ear infection: Looks like your eardrum has burst Angry-T. Have you considered wearing earplugs to the pool?????? (picture the priceless look on Angry-T's face at the thought of showing up at the pool with earplugs)



Vet Clinic Medication: Here are Jack's medications. They are meat flavored. Give us a call when you need more.

Human Clinic Medication: This medication tastes like battery acid but since Angry T only weighs 79 pounds he will have to take the liquid. It may cause him to overheat, become psychotic and have explosive diarrhea. You will have to drive across town and wait in a long line of geriatric patients with LOTS of questions to pick it up. By the way, it is on the highest tier of your medical plan. Good Luck with That!


Tune in next time: Human Hairdresser VS Dog Groomer

Unbalanced

For a number of reasons I am feeling unbalanced.

I am still reeling from a 5 day trip with Angry T. I have never played so much ping pong (they have a table at the ronald mcdonald house)in my life. His presentation was awesome. I couldn't have spoken to a group of doctors at age 12. He can't get enough of it. He also had a pretty good appointment. His kidney is still swollen, but his function has improved.

My beloved Hawkeyes lost to rival Iowa State.

I haven't had scooter therapy for a few weeks.

And frankly, I can't get used to Sadie being gone. It's not like I don't have the pitter patter of doggie feet. It is just weird. I keep dodging the calls from the humane society telling me her cremains are ready. I imagine it will just make me cry.